This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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