I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
