spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
