Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
