I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
