You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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