we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
