Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
