did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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