You just made me feel so damn special
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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