i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
