I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
