Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
