i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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