Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Reggie can tackle my bush.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
