You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
