my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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