hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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