he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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