I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
