my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
