I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
