hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
