Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
