We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize