i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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