So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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