I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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