you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize