the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
