yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
