just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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