Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
