Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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