apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
