I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Barsexuality is the new black.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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