I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
