so let's talk penis.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
