I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
