this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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