doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
