they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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