Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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