bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
