well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I touched a dick in church today
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
