so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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