Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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