We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
