So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
