Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
