You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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