just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
