He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
