my vag is so smooth its legendary
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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