is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have fence marks all over my body
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
