there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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