what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
