Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize