I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
