It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
