This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
