he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
