Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
