Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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