I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
