grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
