I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
