it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
