Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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