Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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