i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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