he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
